Growing Pains

For the first time, my family has no say or input on who I am dating. It was never their choice, but what they think always had an effect on me. The change is a result of me not living with them and having my own life almost an hour away. Not only does my family not have a full understanding of who my boyfriend is, but they have no idea on how he treats me, and how happy he makes me. All that they see is the bad, the issues… since by my own fault were made public for my own stupid reasons.

I can tell them anything I want. I can say that he makes me happy, and that he treats me well, or that he cooks for me and does a lot to try and make me smile every day, but ultimately they will only remember the little that they experience themselves. This makes it so difficult for me. I have lived my life wanting their approval in everything that I do. It is ingrained in me to desire that, but I know that they are baised and that they have expectations on what is good enough for me. I am the one that should know what is good enough for me. I know what I expect from a relationship, what I want, and what faults I am willing to accept.

Right now, it seems as though its all about my boyfriend and me. No one else matters, no one’s opinion matters. No one can “warn” me enough or praise me enough because they are not living my day to day life. Like the Toltecs say, “Whatever you say, whatever you feel, I know is your problem and not my problem. It’s the way you see the world.”